North to Alaska
by pandorabox82
Summary: Jessica finds herself confronting a ghost from her past as she pays her respects to Haley's and Erin's graves.


"I miss you, Haley. There are times when I go to call you, even though you've been gone five years now, and it aches even more when I remember that you're gone forever. Aaron picked a nice spot for you, but I think you would have a laugh to know that you're close to his former boss. Are you two reigning over Heaven with an iron fist? It wouldn't surprise me if the two of you had taken over within minutes of her arrival."

Jessica smiled as she pushed herself to her feet, wiping her hands together to brush the dirt and leaves off. A sad smile crossed her face as she left her sister's gravesite and made her way over to where Erin Strauss rested. She was startled to see that there was already someone there, and she paused, watching the woman interact with the headstone. Taking another step forward, her foot happened to find a branch, and it cracked loudly under the force of her footfall.

The woman looked back at her, and Jessica gasped a little at the sight. "You, you're dead. That's your headstone. I watched Jack so that Aaron could go to your funeral. What is going on here?"

Erin blushed as she turned back to look at her headstone. "I'm slowly making my way back to life. There was a lot more to exiting WitSec than I thought there would be, and then things just got away from me. I've talked to my children already, they were reluctant to believe that I was really there, and well, we're going to obviously be going to counseling to integrate as a family once more."

Jessica found herself nodding, even though confusion was clouding her brain. "I wouldn't doubt that that would be something very hard to wrap their brains around. Hell, I'm having a hard time seeing you here myself."

The older woman smiled tenderly at her before resting a hand on her upper arm. "Why don't we head out for coffee? It would be really nice to connect with someone even tangentially connected to David."

There was a note of sadness in her voice, and Jessica wondered what had made her sad just then. After all, she was alive once more, she had a future ahead of her, something Haley did not. "Why haven't you seen Dave?" she asked, taking a stab in the dark as to the woman's sorrow.

"He had the choice to come with me. We had a long discussion about it in the back of an ambulance, and we decided that it just wouldn't work. He's a celebrated author, a famous face, and if he suddenly disappeared, people would talk. It hurt, but I understood. I hear that he's doing well. Is that true?"

There was hope in her voice as they walked out to their cars, and Jessica wondered what she should tell the woman. After all, she did know that Dave was doing well, that he had been with a bevy of women in the last few months, according to Aaron. And yet, she didn't want to hurt the woman further. Finally, she went the noncommittal route and said, "Yes, he is doing well. I don't think that he's found someone who can fill your place yet, so maybe you could pick up where you left off?"

Erin shook her head as she unlocked her car. "No. I can only move forward. We had a choice to make, and our love wasn't that choice." She sighed deeply. "I'll meet you at Common Grounds? It's only a few miles from here."

"Sounds good to me," she replied before getting into her car and starting the engine. Jessica waited for Erin to pull out first, needing to put some distance between them. A thousand thoughts a moment were flying through her mind, and she knew that she had to quiet them somehow. Turning the radio off, she let the silence fill her mind as she drove and worked out the tangles of questions that she wanted to ask Erin once they were together once more.

Luckily, there was a spot next to Erin's, and she parked there before entering the shop. Erin was in line, and Jessica joined her, looking over the menu before deciding on a white caramel mocha. Once they were at the front, she tugged her credit card out, wanting to pay for their drinks.

Erin frowned at her as she took the number from the barista's hand and leading Jessica over to a secluded table. "You didn't have to do that. I have money, my assets were unfrozen."

"I wanted to, Erin." Jessica reached across the table to pick up her hand, squeezing it softly before letting go and resting her chin atop it. "Where were you? Can you say?"

She nodded as she played with the number placard. "I lucked out, really. They wanted me as far away from Quantico as possible, so they sent me to Alaska. It was just me, my laptop, and one of the most gorgeous views of Skagway harbor that a woman could ever think to ask for. I wrote a collection of short stories while I was there, and surprisingly, the collection is doing well on Amazon."

"Really? Is it in paperback or an e-book?" Jessica was fascinated by the revelation, and she leaned in to listen to what Erin had to say.

"Both formats, actually. It started as an e-book, and when the sales took off, I bought an ISBN for it, and let it be ordered in a physical form. I won't get rich off the sales, but my name is getting out there."

"And that name would be?"

"Cara Ross." Jessica blinked a few times. "What? Don't tell me you've purchased my book?"

Jessica nodded as the barista set down their drinks. "I have. I loved your stories, and I had no idea that I had a connection to the author. Please, tell me you're thinking of another collection."

The older woman shrugged as she took a sip of her cappuccino, a faraway look in her eyes. "I had thought I might try my hand at a long story this time. There's something fermenting in my brain that just won't leave me in peace."

"Well, if you want an advance reader, look no further," she said in a rush, her excitement making her bold.

"I'll have to remember that, Jessica," she replied as she leaned back in her chair. "So, tell me about what's been going on in my absence. I already know that Alex has moved back to Boston, Matteo was kind enough to inform me of that, and I know that Kate Callahan is taking her place. She'll be a good fit for the team."

Jessica nodded and sipped at her coffee. "Well, Aaron and Beth are having some issues, and I think that they're headed for a breakup. Jack is growing like a weed, and he'll be going into fourth grade this year. I have no idea where the time is going, and I, I miss Haley so much. I had thought that things would get easier, but each time someone on Aaron's team is hurt by an unsub, I can't help but think of her."

This time, Erin reached across for her hand, and the spark of that touch had Jessica jumping a little in surprise. "What happened to Haley was my largest regret. I felt responsible for her murder, in a way, because I didn't fight my boss harder to make certain that there was more surveillance on Aaron and her."

"Oh," she breathed out and she squeezed her hand tightly. "I'm sorry that you had to carry that burden."

"Don't be. I needed to be reminded of what costs come when a leader does not listen to her instincts. I have a Master's degree in psychology, I know human nature, and I still missed that in Foyet's profile. I'm sorry that I failed you and Aaron."

The stark honesty that slipped from Erin's lips had her nodding in response before she slipped her hand free of the touch to wrap around the mug, needing the warmth to bleed into her suddenly ice cold skin. "We all fail the ones we love at some point, Erin."

She cocked her head to one side a little as she sipped at her cappuccino. "I don't love Aaron."

"I know, not in a passionate sort of way, but I'd be willing to bet that there was some protective love involved." Erin blushed again, and Jessica knew that she'd hit her mark. "You're a mother, it makes sense that you would be protective of them."

"I guess." Erin drained her cup in one long drag, and then she set it aside before fixing her gaze on Jessica. "Is there anyone special in your life?"

She wondered where that question came from, and she shook her head before she realized what she was doing. "No, I haven't found her yet."

"Her?"

"The one, the one who makes my heart sing. I know that she's out there, I just wish that she'd come into my life already." Jessica tried not to think of the spark that had passed through her body at their contact, but Erin seemed intent on making her think of it, since she reached out for her hand once more.

"I hope that you find her, Jessica. You deserve to be happy."

"So do you," she replied quickly. Their eyes met, and Jessica felt tears well up and roll down her face. "After the nightmare you endured, you deserve a sweet ending."

Erin's look turned shy, but she didn't break their gaze. "I'm thinking of going back to Alaska. My heart was so happy there. You're more than welcome to visit me. I'd like to get to know you better, more than just as passing acquaintances."

Jessica nodded and threaded their fingers together. "I think that I would like that, Erin." They smiled at each other, and somehow Jessica knew that this was the start of something greater in her life, and she couldn't wait to find out what would happen.


End file.
